Perspective

Since being Dx'ed I have taken time to reflect on how MS effects it's unwilling participants. Scattered is the term I will use. Everyone is different, symptoms, lesions,disabilities, pain level if any, range from none to the extreme. At the present time there are four levels of MS, which can be a sticking point of progression and treatment therapies.

Doctors classifications verses Insurance companies acceptance of allowable coverage, and co pays that stifle the common humans ability to wonder what humanity is all about. It seems that everyone is concerned about your health, just as long as you can pay! I understand R&D, money spent to develop drugs, but the profits of Drug Companies say otherwise, your sickness is their benefit.

As of my Dx, I am fortunate to be able to walk and drive, with a longstanding problem with my right leg and it's abilities to function properly. Drop foot doesn't help and I have become accustomed to stumbling, and as they say "bouncing off of walls", I expect this is due to an ever changing gait, as each day the leg acts differently in strength, and coordination. I have other Sx's, but they are mild compared to many who are affected by MS.

I have yet decided on a medication if any, as I am waiting to see my Cardiologist and discuss the drug therapy I am considering, which could affect another health deformity I am plagued with. I am commonly known in the heart community as an "Afibber". That's a short name of Atrial Fibrillation, and is triggered by several means and highly contested as to what those triggers are. Afib is an irregular heart beat and I am known as a "Lone Affiber" which means that my heart always returns back to normal sinus rhythm on it's own, without drugs or electrocardioversion.

Progression of my illness is unknown. No new lesions as of March. Drug therapy to be determined as soon as possible, but the state of an uncertain economy, and reactions to those therapies, could determine what happens in the near future. I am prepared for an uncertain future, as much as one can be in this circumstance. I was always concerned with the Afib, and now things have changed. I have always been flexible and have adjusted well to life's changes, and the test has just been elevated to a new level...

The War rages on...

The first thing that I did when I received the news about my positive dx, was to start searching the Internet for information. I am a geek when it comes to computer related functions. Self proclaimed Google and Wiki fanatic. If it's there, I have convinced myself that I can find it. Doctors are taken back when you tell them take you surf and read information on the net. Warning flags fly and they all tell you of the dangers of believing what you read! It wears me out to have to tell them that I do not believe everything I read, and that I am very well versed in the dangers and downfalls of open surfing concerning the reliability of web information.

It's pretty bad when you have to use reverse psychology om your own Doctors and make them relax about the knowledge you have obtained outside their realm of expertise. I never have been crazy enough to insinuate that web research is of higher quality than what my doctors have studied and paid for in time, sacrifice, and good old hard work. I do however consider myself well armed with knowledge, and have stayed abreast with the information and choices that my Neuro last laid out for me. If you stay well informed and question the things you do not understand, asking your Doctor does seem to improve you rapport with them, at least it has worked well for me.

To sum up what I have learned, listen to your doctor, compare what information has been laid out from all sources. Question what you do not understand, and make your decisions based on all things offered. I believe that trust in you Doctor is imperative, to making the right choices. Opinions on this post, whether they be positive or negative, are always welcomed...

The Conspiracy - Part Two

So for the next few days, I imagine the worse. The appointment takes place, and as we look at the five white spots on my brain images, he looks at me and says, "it looks like MS". Well I sort sort of expected worse, and as he explains the contrast views against the normal views, I appreciate his professional manner and frankness of his suspicions. I like my medicine given to me straight up, with no crutches or sweeteners.

So on to the Lumbar Puncture to try and confirm that it is MS. This is done a few weeks later and the LP shows the confirming O-Bands, (No need to make you try and say the Oligoclonal tongue twister). At the beginning of the dx, I'm off and running with crazy thoughts and wondering if it's something I did along the way, with this wild and crazy sort of lifestyle I had been maintaining until the AFib came along. Or was it the curse of the dreaded "Agent Orange". Maybe it was staying up late watching monster movies when I was young, or sneaking a smoke in the basement when the parents were watching Lawrence Welk on Saturday night. Or worse yet, I listened to the "Beatles", Yikes, and I though they would only make me burn in Hell, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!!!

None of the above turned out to be true, and as I searched though the rubble, the details of MS come through. It shows that the only thing that they think they know about MS, is that more people in colder climates contract MS than in warmer climates, due to the sun emitting Vitamin D. And I thought it was only good for growing tomatoes and giving us skin cancer.

I think it's hard to believe that our own bodies have turned against us, and we are looking for a way to explain the ultimate question of 'why"?

The research continues, and I'm digging in for the long haul...

Rumors of War - Part One

For three years now I have been putting aside the fact that my right leg has become more of a burden than I opted for. At the insistence of my wife, her family, and friends, I decided to get it checked out. I tried a Neuro that was suggested to me by my PCP, whose considerations were to keep me inside of my Insurance plan. This is not always a good idea, as I didn't like her from the start. She kept insisting that I had back problems, and her favorite question through the first interview was, "are you sure you don't have and back pain"? Maybe she had experienced patients who lied to her, or were not very precise. Well she sent me for an MRI of the lower back, and this is when I found out about my claustrophobic tendencies. "No tube" for this strong, tough, living on the edge Biker, no sir-ee Bub!

I was embarrassed, and humiliated that I could not enter a simple tube for less than an hour, after the things I have experienced. Man I hate anxiety! So I convinced myself that I was OK, and released the Doc with the one track mind, and got back to living. Now I find out that I am not alone in this Anti Tube movement, as the experience reminded me of a coffin, whew! Well worse comes to worse, and it's now two years later, and after moving to Texas, my condition gets worse. I consult with my new PCP, and he examines me, and suggests an Open MRI. OK so I manage it, and figure that I'm done. Yea right, nothing shows but common age defects. Along comes the Babinski test, with an added symptom of "Drop foot" and the Doc sent me to a Neuro in Dallas.

Of course it's MRI time again and Neuro wants a closed MRI. I explained that I get all weird in closed places, and he suggests some relaxing agents that will help me endure this test, as he wants precise images. I like the Doc so I agree. Now to make a long story shorter, the medication (Xanax) works, and with a simple solution from the Tech at the imaging center, "just keep your eyes closed". Duh, but it takes the Xanax to keep me still and calm, for the duration of the test. So for the next month, I go through a series of MRI's, ending with the brain. The Neuro's office calls the very next day, and instructs me to obtain the film from the Imaging Center, and bring them along, as he wants to see me as soon as possible!

To be Continued...